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Lingonberries

The previous ten days have been pretty busy - only one completely free day, and seven rather long working days. Thursday night the sky was clear, and the world was illuminated by the moon. It was beautiful and atmospheric, but I felt too tired to fully enjoy it, so I just went to sleep as early as I could. On Friday (that was yesterday) I bought some tasty food; a baguette, Emmental cheese, blue cheese, thin cuts of smoked reindeer meat and pickled cucumber. And a bottle of red wine. When I got back at home, I filled up the garden bath tub and started a fire under it. While waiting for the water to heat up, I enjoyed the food with some wine. It was already dark when the fire went out and the water was hot. The sky was overcast, yet there was a dim light of the full moon. So I dipped myself into the hot water, slowly sipping away the rest of the wine, kind of a washing away the stress and strain of the past days. Sure, chilly autumn air, a hot bath and some red wine - that is a good combination to get a relaxed, mellow feeling.

Usually I pick a wine in a rather non-sophisticated manner, like 'ooh, that one isn't so expensive and has a nice picture on the label, I'll take it!'. The only thing I know about red wines is that Carménère is a special grape variety, known for the deep red colour and fruity, spicy aroma it gives. Also, it's tannins are pleasantly gentle. So, this time I chose Sunrise carmenere 2015 from Chile, Valle Central. Hehe, if someone wants to get an idea what is my taste for red wine, I'd guess this one pretty much defines it. Easy to drink, yet rich of taste. (I learned about the carménère grapes from my late neighbour. She both lived and died by consuming red wine, so she had a considerable experience and wide knowledge of affordable wines. But she wasn't your average countryside alcoholic. She had been working as a photographer for a fashion magazine in 1960's in Paris. Even though she was back to her countryside home in Finland, she maintained a sophisticated taste when it came to arts and wines.)

Today after my morning coffee I looked at my home and found it somewhat messy and untidy. That often happens when there are long working days in a row. When doing my household chores I have a habit of popping in and out without removing my boots, which then leads to an increasing amount of sand, dirt and pieces of dry hay on the floor. If I'm busy and tired, I also just leave things and stuff lying around on the table and benches, thinking that I'll sort them later when I have free time. Well, but today I had plenty of free time so I put a LP on the turntable and swept the floor. That is always like a symbolical ritual for me, physically tidying the house helps to clarify my mind, to feel present and settled at where I am.

In the evening I took a bucket for berries and a basket for mushroom and went into the nearby woods. There were plenty of lingonberries. But not that much luck with the mushroom. I checked several places which usually are good for cantharellus tubaeformis. I found some patches of old fungi which had already started to wither and weren't edible any more. That is strange, as usually the season for cantharellus tubaeformis lasts well until winter. You can even go pick it up after the temperatures are well below freezing - naturally frozen c. tubaeformis can be taken directly into freezer and they are all fine when unfrozen. Well, but maybe this year it is the lack of moisture which had made the tubaeformis to wither. Only here and there I found some younger tubaeformis, and I also found some ordinary cantharelles.

When I was strolling in the woods and gathering lingoberries, I was thinking of the years when I was more depressed. Like, two years ago it was so that after ten busy days I needed one or two days to barely recover. I mean, even gathering berries would've felt like too much work. But now it was just that one night in the hot bath outdoors, and the following morning I woke up feeling a bit slow yet ready for my household chores and the seasonal homesteading stuff. I think depression is not only a phenomenon of the mind - it also has a biological side, affecting almost everything from metabolism to hormones, making you feel low on energies no matter how you think, want or try to be. So, to recover from that kind of depression, it takes things which affect also the biological side of depression. Anything which kicks ans boost your bodily homeostasis, telling your metabolism to level up. For me it has been things like dancing.

All in all, it also feels that this year I've been better able to manage my timetables. This row of long working days isn't any more the normal state, but an exception. Yet, I'm still hoping for this to translate into finishing two projects I'd like to get finished sooner instead of later. Namely, renovating the entrance hall, and publishing a playable version of TaruPaja with a proper example story. All through the summer it has been slow progress with both of these projects. Yes, I haven't abandoned neither of them, it has just been that the steps of progress have been so small that I haven't felt like posting about them. But let's see if that will be any better in the weeks to come :)

I love the color of moss in the evening sunlight
I love the color of moss in the evening sunlight
I also love the colors of the pine trees
I also love the colors of the pine trees
Lingonberries
Lingonberries
The harvest of the day
The harvest of the day
tags: 
depression
diary
homesteading
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