Wall of ice, that sounds familiar to me.

Well, sure it feels easier to socialize with some people. But it is a bit complicated. First, an unspoken sense of 'kinship' influences a lot. With some people it feels that a mutual understanding comes naturally, that we are speaking the same language, so it is easier to get a message across. Sometimes I find it easier to speak with strangers, or a newly made friend, if there is some kind of sense of underlying mutual understanding. Because with strangers I don't have established patterns of social behaviour - there isn't that feeling of 'I have never before talked about this kind of topics with that person, what if it is something that person doesn't want to share with me, or what I say would somehow cause trouble?'. I've noticed that even with people who I know well I have this tendency to react to what they say - I seldom initiate a discussion about a topic we haven't talked before. That sometimes leaves me with a feeling that there are a lot of things inside me which I don't share with anyone, not even with the people I consider my close friends. But lately I've paid more attention to that - why should I wait for others to ask me about something; if I feel a need to share a thought or a feeling, then maybe I can just say that aloud, yes?

All that being said, I still find writing so much easier than speaking aloud in a face-to-face situation. There still are things to learn in this regard, some ice left to thaw.

Here's a Litku Klemetti solo performance, a song which uses thawing of ice as a metaphor for inner freeze. "Here I stand with a pale face, until the park thaws. Two more months to wait, just staring at the wall..."