When I was a teenager, I read couple of books by a Finnish prof. Matti Bergström. He had been studying the brain / psyche relationship, and I found his theories very interesting and detailed. He saw both our brain and psyche involving at least nine spheres, which roughly correspond to the evolution of brain. Bit simplified, the ancient part of brain is concerned with immediate survival, and it is not very good at logical reasoning. And on top of that there are more and more elaborate layers, which have developed later on in the line of evolution. They deal with social relationships etc, until finally, the top layer deals with conceptual theories and logical reasoning.

Well, why I'm telling this, is to describe the roots of my own thinking. Indeed, I do think that "desires" come in many flavours, and in many layers. There are deep, archaic primitive desires - which we basically share with snakes and frogs etc. And then there are social desires, which we pretty much share with other mammals living in herds. And our cognitive mind comes with some desires of it own. Or, to rephrase myself; think of curiosity. To me it seems that there is already some primitive form of curiosity functioning on the primitive level of the brain / mind. Then the higher layers of brain / mind are just adding on top of that - we are socially curious to get to know new herd members etc. And we are intellectually curious to work out a solution to a theoretical question.

And, personally, for me I don't that much label desires as "bad" or "good", "low" or "high". They are different, and have different functions and different roles in our lives.

But, if I think of my father losing his nerve when he found that he had forgotten to pack milk and sugar - to me it seemed somewhat pointless to rage about such a little practical detail. Maybe he had a desire to taste the sweet aroma of coffee with sugar & milk, and then it seems like a natural reaction to get angry when you find out that you can't fulfill that desire. Well, personally, I haven't sought after 'losing some desire', but just seeking other ways of handling my own desires. Nowadays, if I find out that for a reason or another I can't fulfill one of my desires, I don't feel angry or mad about it. I might feel a bit down for a moment, but I contemplate about the situation and see if there is something I can do about it in the future. And if not, then I just go on explore the other areas of my life. Because, personally, I think my own life is easier and more enjoyable if I'm not raging about this and that small things =)

Hmm.. So, basically, to me it seems it goes the other way round. Desires getting re-arranged and transformed is just a natural by-product of walking the spiritual path. What happens, happens by itself. One day I was a quick-tempered ill-habited kid who took pride in being verbally fluent to mock and to ridicule others. Then I realized that it isn't a very admirable mode of behaviour. So I spent more time reflecting on my own emotions, and just kept walking on the inner path. And slowly, I have seen myself becoming more patient, kind, and friendly, and less driven by a mixture of unfocused desires.

It is this what I think about, on those moments couple of winter ago, when I saw myself losing the control into a moments of problem gambling. For me, the solution is not to get rid of a desire to win a jackpot. For me, the solution is not to seek stricter self control. In my way, the solution is to take better care of being present, a sense of being myself. And then, the more deeper I feel present and focused, the easier it is to choose ways of refreshment when being over-tired after a long day of work.

Now, if we take this back to the idea of nine layers of mind / brain - I think I've been seeking better connections and better communications between these spheres. So that primitive instincts and intellectual reflection and everything in between could smoothly co-operate to co-ordinate my life =)