I went back and read your last post before reading this one, and was about to comment there, but came back to this post first. From the previous post:
"Like the very existence is a burden to be carried. Like making any contact with anything feels like deliberately laying your hand onto a red hot iron, so you prefer to avoid any contact with anything and end up feeling empty and isolated from life itself."
Your description here was very evocative for me and helped me better frame some anxiety/depression I find myself hiding from at times. I just wanted to share that your writing was helpful for my own processing,

Every once in a while my random checking on on URW development brings me to read a few of your posts. I think I probably feel some small piece of what you felt talking to that artist, that I just want to quietly say thank you and not make a big deal. But I can't overstate the impact seeing the work you have done, and the parts of your life you have shared, has had on me. I see and hear you thinking in ways that connect with my own, and I am grateful for these moments when it is late at night, I'm trying to find something to occupy myself with, and I spend some time reading your writing. Through those times, I gain a little more focus and understanding of myself.

I have no idea if I'd ever be near enough for it to have any sense (and the internal voice says to me "you might not be one of them!"), but thanks for even saying that your door is open. I wish you the best.